Grammy on the Beach

I was at the beach with my friend today (which is one of the best places for Anndropping, btw) and we overheard something priceless.

Grammy: Have you seen a grey and black Emerald Queen Casino blanket and a pair of shorts and a thermos?

Sunbathing Man: No, I haven't.

Grammy: I left them right here on the beach. I can't believe things are disappearing from the beach.

Man: Uh, yeah, sorry. (leavemealone leavemealone leavemealone...)

Grammy: I've been coming to this beach for years and this has never happened. I  can't believe things are disappearing from the beach. It's bad.

Man: ...

Grammy: That thermos was very expensive. It was an expensive thermos. And my shorts and blanket. I can't believe things are disappearing from the beach.

Man: Sorry.

We wait until Grammy has walked away enough to know that she's not going to come ask us about her stuff and then sit up to get a look at her.

Hat, sunglasses, Seven Feathers Casino oversized shirt over a swimsuit, beach bag.

No shorts.

Why did she walk away from her blanket with her bag and shirt but not her shorts? How is she going to get home without shorts? Grammy, come back!

Craig's List

Two college girls, Short Hair and Long Hair, were sitting in a coffee shop yesterday. I didn't have to try to hard to overhear their entire 2 hour long conversation because they were shout-talking the whole thing. I know waaaaay more than I care to. For instance, they are both single but are both hot shit. Long hair is "getting hit on all the time" and short hair is "dating a few guys but none of them seriously". The highlight of the conversation was about their friend, Craig:

Short Hair: We need to find Craig a girlfriend!
Long Hair: I know! He's, like, the most virgin guy and has never had a girlfriend. It's cuz he plays the bass. He always says 'the bass comes first'. It's so cute.

(I think Long Hair wants Craig big time)

Short Hair: Do you have paper? We should seriously make a list of traits that Craig needs in a girlfriend and then find a girl that's just like that.

(They work on a list for a while. And then I hear...)

Short Hair: He needs a girl that's, like, clingy.
Long Hair: Yeah clingy but not psycho crazy. Like not jealous. Cuz all his friends are girls.

(Again, Long Hair tooootally wants Craig. And Craig might be gay. The bass does come first, after all.)

Jethro Tull

I was playing Jethro Tull today in the coffee shop where I work and this guy and his friend came up to the counter and ordered. While I was making their drinks I heard one say to the other:

Leather Jacket guy: "I had this Indian friend whose dad was a concert promoter in India. He was telling me about his summer and said (Leather Jacket guy quotes his friend in a really bad Indian accent, good one) 'I saw Jethro Tull this summer! And he gave me a flute! But I can't play the flute!' So the guy would just get really stoned and pretend to play the flute"